How to Write a Letter or Email to Demand Visitation With a Child

By Beverly Bird

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When you’re dealing with visitation problems with your ex, every word you put on paper -- or send via the Internet -- can be vitally important. Your words have the potential to come back and haunt you later or provide valuable proof to a judge if you end up in court trying to sort things out. Before you commit anything to writing, run it by a lawyer.

You Need an Order

If you don’t have a custody order or divorce decree, simply demanding visitation time with your child won’t get you anywhere because you don’t have visitation terms that can be enforced in court. Visit your local courthouse or go online to your state’s website to find the documents you must file to ask the court for an order for visitation.

When You Have an Order

After you obtain a custody order or divorce decree from the court, notify your ex in writing that you want to exercise your right to spend time with your child. Mention the paragraph of your order that provides for visitation -- they’re typically numbered. Tell her when and what time you’re going to pick up your child and when you’ll return her. If this date and time doesn’t work, ask her to get back to you in writing with a different time. If she does nothing or writes back and denies you visitation, this provides proof of her interference if you must go back to court to enforce the terms of your order. Don’t lose your cool if she doesn’t cooperate -- this will only make you look bad if you have to plead your case to a judge.